The guy obviously does not love the girl in question yet went ahead and had a baby with her out of wedlock. I don't know what to do. I too got burned with the kid trap. Please specify a reason for deleting this reply from the community. You could be the best, healthiest, most well adjusted person. If you just dont see it working it is better to do it now. and our bumboclaath mi nuh hv any advice fi u.battybwoy! Americans love coffee. Create an account or log in to participate. Does the father know? How Having a Baby Affects Your Relationship With Your Partner Apply for wic and food stamps and move in with family. Knowing that you don't want to have the relationship with someone, you will never be able to fake your feelings for temporary happiness. I talked with him about how we had to stop thinking about ourselves and trying to hurt each other. Suck it up because you didn't do her any favours having to live with you either. Love and Pregnancy: Can a Baby Save Your Struggling Relationship? - Parents Note that once you confirm, this action cannot be undone. It depends on the person. Damaged. but honestly did society really win? Next time, WATCH BEFORE YOU LEAP, U see how some guys end up sleeping with gurls dey do not love?? Everyone has their reasons for doing things and it's not up to us to judge them. We don't have to be together to love our children. As for my girlfriend, I love this person and i will do my best to make it work out. My only advice is to make sure you don't make your or your wife or your baby's life miserable. Where are you from? My friends-with-benefits and I are having a baby (6 months along). Thank you for purchase! Sorry to say this, but your gf cannot be trusted. Sometimes it feels like you just can't win. You will love that baby no matter what when it gets here! I have read many times that people say don't make any major changes in the baby's first year of life. Want to have sex but not babies? Congratulations, you're like most Sadly having a baby can create a rift between parents. I know quite a few mothers who weren't ready (not that anyone ever is) to have a baby when they did and just grew to resent their child. So remember to try to be the best of you. It's not that they don't want to. I'm having a baby with someone I'm not in love with. Wasn't looking for a sugar daddy. My name is Michelle Devani, and I've been helping people with their relationships since 2003. useless boy!! Everyone is happier. Would I do it again? I don't get how you came to that conclusion and you are just a bitter girl that So they say don't break up, move, change careers, etc in the first year. The Stages of Wanting to Have a Baby, by Age From being adorably clueless to using all the condoms to #MomLife. Your post will be hidden and deleted by moderators. @jessi, how come i never get to meet these kind of guys,i swear i would have cut off your stupid sausage,put in the toilet and flush it off nonsence, @jessi, maame plz its rude to cut sumones sausage.sincerely the fault might come from the gal,maybe she did self arrangement ahohyehy3.and resulted in the pregnancy. sit the lady down n explain things to her and the most important thing is take very good care of your child. love should beget love and not hate or fear..something society always fails to learn. Couldn't have said it any better And me too guys. Congratulations, a new bundle of joy is coming to fill your home with love and bliss. First step: Don't rush things. Leaving a pregnant girlfriend with your child, in my view is very selfish and irresponsible. I wasn't happy. She needs someone that truly loves her. I do want to be a father but i always imagined it different, like being with a woman that i am in love with. I grew up where my dad treated me like ****, so I wanted to be the best father I could. The guy I was seeing was fun to party with but I didn't love him. And 3 children. No we were together 3 months when I got pregnant. Support yourself. cos it not easy to becme a single mother huh. Should you have a baby with someone that you don't love? It tears me apart. Find out to see whether he actually likes you by taking this quick free quiz. my point is no one really wins in this situation. New Study: Millennial Women Are Delaying Having Children Due - Forbes To start? I guess I'm just looking for someone on the same boat because I really wish I could have someone to talk to. The end result was the same my siblings and I had the worse upbringing. I am at a loss as to what I must do. Nobody wants probably so you think men should just force themselves to be in love with someone they're not?? Nobody forces you to live with him, if you really don't like him, you can find a job and leave. most times the child bears all the burnt of this relationship as the child would be looked upon as some sort of curse to both parties life the father will hate the child instead of loving it and the mother will eventual resent her child. Adoption is for some people who want to unselfishly make sure the child is cared for and loved by people who can support it just like toughing it out and having the child, supporting it, and loving it is for others. The views expressed in community are solely the opinions of participants, and do not reflect those of What to Expect. I completely respect her decision on this. Group Black's collective includes Essence, The Shade Room and Naturally Curly. Otherwise, you will lose the child and her altogether. Please whitelist our site to get all the best deals and offers from our partners. So you have been together 9yrs, do you have other children you need to think about as well? The educational health content on What To Expect is reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts to be up-to-date and in line with the latest evidence-based medical information and accepted health guidelines, including the medically reviewed What to Expect books by Heidi Murkoff. Apparently that first year of raising the child is very stressful, specifically on the relationship. We provide resources that help you in your relationship, marriage, and dating life. For more information, please see our Hi everyone! They finally divorced when I was 19. Couples do stay together when they are not in love, just for the sake of stability for the child. It is helped by a rush of love when the baby arrives, but that doesn't have to be present to create a positive, warm, loving connection which is what love is." For me, even weeks later, those warm . DO YOU WANT TO CHILD TO HAVE A MESSED UP UPBRINGING LIKE YOU DID? I am a single mom and have been for a few years- however, my first child was planned with my fiance' and we were madly in love and it was the greatest, happiest time of my life. In the end its all about the kids. Can you be responsible enough to make sure you are being safe? Why I'm Having a Baby Without Getting Married First - Insider He's provided for me financially, has given me a house and a car, and is really into being a father. We strive to provide you with a high quality community experience. I do not know the answer to that. Long story short, I don't love my pregnant girlfriend. It wasn't working out before she got pregnant and now it's 100x worse because of her hormones. think twice before sharing personal details, foster a friendly and supportive environment, remove fake accounts, spam and misinformation, delete posts that violate our community guidelines, reviewed by our medical review board and team of experts. K lemme get one thing straight. But there's something extraordinary about the energy level of a little boy. In order to fully understand why I've come to this conclusion on why men stop wanting sex with women they're in a relationship with, it's important to understand every part of the reality dose . we ended u divorcing in 6 years anyway. back out now, "Leaving a pregnant girlfriend with your child, in my view is very selfish and irresponsible. Eventually though, it caught up to us. maybe take a pre-marital class and figure out some common ground to build a relationship on Nine years ago I was mad in love with my first boyfriend. Every toddler boy I've ever met has a destructive streak I am just not into. 1.) No going back. Having children is not cheap. NOW WHY IS IT THAT SO MANY OF US HAD MESSED UP CHILDHOOD? Pros And Cons Of Being A "Baby Face" Woman | Regain Either way, I was ready to "play house". I have 6 sisters and three brothers. We tried to make it work. He is a grown up. Yes, her hormones will be out of whack. Do you think that she would let you be a father if you two were to split? I My ex-girlfriend is pregnant. Don't just jump into the discussion; ease your way into it. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate with a baby due in July. My Best Friend's Daughter Called ME Daddy While I Popped Her Cherry As I said earlier, each person has different needs. Chosing to be in a rebound relationship to forget the past and aiming for some fun also cause a problem. Aim to have a better and best partner that you can have. I just put myself on hold. But, learning from the past and making it as a lesson is a different story. It does make someone feel down and stressed out but, look at the big picture. He and my parents think that we are in love, but I have been keeping my true feelings to myself for 6 months: I don't love him. "All of the rational thoughts. As opposed to hanging out with friends and other men she isn't in love with, she may be much more outgoing and boisterous. Tist: So are you guys in a relationship or just friend with benefits? But, then again, falling in love is always phenomenal and terrifying. My two oldest remember some fighting and the divorce. I chose to divorce my husband and my boyfriend of 4yrs has now ditched meit's also the consequence for the actions that I chose GET OUT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He's provided for me financially, has given me a house and a car, and is really into being a father. Copyright 2017 - 2022 by LoveDevani.com. Only good thing that came out of it are my children. Please whitelist our site to get all the best deals and offers from our partners. Anyways, we decided to get marry after finding out that she was pregnant, even though I had my doubts if it was my baby or not. Being in a loveless relationship is not a good example for the LO you already have and the one on the way. I find the really difficult and I just have idea what do. Op: get a job and support yourself. Good luck. Okay so long story very short my ex gi Long story short, My current girlfriend keeps in contact wit Long story short. Being pregnant isn't an excuse to work not work, I worked up until I was 38 weeks along by choice. Man and woman making love in bed. When I did he the. Will you make a better progress by doing so? He's controlling you since you are 100% dependent on him. This is the most stupid guy I have seen in my life twety something years of existance. Nothing from the start. "We are. silly boy so u r one of the stupid men who go abt using girls 4 sex.dont luv her dont touch her. He has been nothing but supportive, but I do not love him. Saturday 4 Mar 2023 10:00 am. I too feel torn by a similar situation. I had been seeing the guy (now DH) exclusively since August of 2011. Sorry I must've misread. Just not with her. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. She has someone who depends solely on her. JP friend, thanks for taking the time to read my post and offer your advise. Everybody deserves someone who is able to appreciate, respect, and love themselves. Call your old boss, call family and friends, research aid and stop telling yourself you're stuck. Chandra is a mom of three boys (8, 4, and 3) and the founder of Oh Lovely Day, a lifestyle blog with a honest look at motherhood.She is trying to create more of an open dialogue with a no . Adults with kids don't need someone else to financially support them. what is de main reason why u do not love her?? Don't get me wrong here, my daughter can destroy with the best of them. Friends with benefits are often just friends who you sleep with, with no emotional attachment. You've been clear with him from the start. Being pregnant is not a free pass for not working. Having a baby with him because of 'guilt' would be barking mad. Idnt also think the said mother would marry someone who wouldnt make her happy. I really don't want to mess this child's life up. I'm curious to find out how it turned out for you. And I still do. THE CHILD UNSTABLE, EVEN MORE **** UP. She's rambunctious and wild and can make a complete disaster out of any room in 10 seconds flat. Good luck! I hid the drama from my children, making up excuses while he never home. He bought it and it is in his name. I have heard that arranged marriages actually have a better long term outcome because of this. Many of us are (heavily) pregnant and still working. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. i know for sure u dated her for longer b4 she got pregnant start looking at the quality this gal have n think of ur daughter after that give her a chance n delete that mind of not loving her out of ur mind n married her ..am sure God will give u new hrt to love her.. I think it's best to do what will make you the happiest. YOU'LL BE STABLE. I was not in love with the guy I got pregnant by. Take public transportation until you can get your own car and focus on your baby. I don't know if that's just hormones talking or what! 15 Signs A Woman Does Not Have The Maternal Instinct - BabyGaga 1) If you seriously just want the child, but not the mother, you know this can never happen unless you have an agreement with your girlfriend. Even if it does get better, odds are it won't, why would you want to have a life with someone you don't love? Probably. I don't know if your feelings of disconnection will pass but I sure hope they do. I'm curious as to how he is selfish?? We were fighting like crazy right before we found out she was pregnant. I feel like I'm trapped and no where to go. Will the feeling of disconnection to this baby ever go away? THE TRUTH IS THAT NO MATTER LOVE CANNOT BE FORCED. She rescues baby squirrels: 'They're quite destructive. I don't care. I My Husband Doesn't Want Another Kid, so I'm - The Atlantic When he acts OK with the idea and his first instinct is to be happy, you can be sure it's one of the big signs a man wants to have a baby with you. CLARITY friend you do make a lot of sense. Back then I loved her and I felt sorry for her because she took the decision of getting marry to me even though she didn't love me. It would not work out for you or for her. And the same with me. cos no parents will watch their daughter to be ignore by a guy whom impregnated her\.. and am not even sure de gurl will accept that U must learn how to love her love grows strongly if u give it a chance.. give that a try ok without causin her much pain. Group Leaders communicate with staff moderators and escalate potential violations for review, but they dont moderate discussions. An increasing number of South Korean women are choosing not to marry, not to have children, and not even to have relationships with men. Life is beautiful but you don't have a clue Sun and ocean blue Their magnificence, it don't make sense to you Black beauty, oh oh oh Black beauty, oh oh oh I paint the house black My wedding dress black leather too You have no room for light Love is lost on you I keep my lips red To seem like cherries in the spring Darling, you can't let everything ( though I don't see the first one as a mistake because making babies should not be a mistake.it is the natural order of things).you cant force people to do things out of their wishes and desires. What Happens If You Don't Have Sex For A Long Time Or Ever? We broke up 6 weeks ago and we Ok long story short my girlfriend of over a year was raped by someone that My girlfriend doesn't think I love her, but I do love her. By Kate Spencer Published: Apr 27, 2016 UNIVERSAL PICTURES | LAYNEELU/IMGUR AGE 6 I. Either stay or get off the pot but be careful how you play this. I got pregnant with a 34 year old man with another baby and I'm only 19 we've know each other 3 months now but only knew each other a couple weeks when we found out. What are the reasons for not wanting to be with her? My Boyfriend Wants To Have A Baby With Another Woman There are reasons you should know and love yourself before you love someone else that will remind you to be true to yourself. Can't and haven't said a word to anyone about how i feel. Features: Kris Fluffy named herself aptly - "fluffy" because she says she doesn't shave a single hair on her body. You moved into his house, you let him buy you a car and you quit your job because he was financial there. I know this is not the time to criticise as the harm has already been caused, but i will still ask: If you claim you dnt love someone, how on earth did u get involved with her, let alone put her in the family way? If you have the "baby blues" you might not notice the sadness or moodiness right away. My partner works alot which I think is the cause of us not having any connection? It's no one else's responsibility to support you. This is nuts. Hair. No love. There are reasons on why you should never date a pothead. Having a baby by someone I don't even love - Young Moms | Forums We found out. Immerse yourself in nature. This educational content is not medical or diagnostic advice. You could have the best partner and tons of family support. Do I have to spend the rest of my life with a woman I don't love? Create an account or log in to participate. If I could take a pill that made me love u him I would, whereas I think he thinks he can start a new life if he left me? Do i tell my boyfriend i slept with someone else during short break up? The author playing in the snow in December 2022. This is why i found it hard to break up with her although I'd thought about it many times in the past. SCENARIO 3: FORGET ABOUT THE WOMAN YOU LOVE. Don't marry someone you don't love. 'Don't expect rewards in love': woman, 32, who desperately wants a baby Women, in particular, have a growing awareness of the benefits of having babies when they're ready and not having more than they can provide for. Your post will be hidden and deleted by moderators. Plan the best decision that both of you can have to take a good care of the baby. Long story short, I don't love my pregnant girlfriend. Shy behavior A woman who is in love with you will start to be unusually shy. It would feel odd. What to Expect has thousands of open discussions happening each day. IF YOU BOTH DECIDED TO STAY IN A LOVELESS RELATIONSHIP. All i will advice him to do is to sit the girl in question down and talk to her in a matured way. Girl sits on her partner, he turning her on the back. My girlfriend is pregnant and suddenly i realize that she may not be all i ever wanted. And if your parents think you guys are in love Then how does that work? If you'd like to talk more you could Facebook message me my names Logan Downey this is my profile pic but in rainbow. We literally virtually broke up the night before! Grown apart and have no interest in each others lives! Be true to yourself and you will allow yourself to get things that you deserve. If you're dating a woman who doesn't want to have kids, you should know whether or not you do. Time to grow up! He will probably try to then use the baby against you. How can I live with a loveless marriage? - the Guardian They were always fighting. As a woman, you get insulted for doing it, and you get insulted for not doing it. He made a baby with you but doesn't seem to support you financially and you don't live together. Broken heart is a usual thing but, what is bad is the action that people choose to take to heal the broken heart itself. "People would say, 'I don't want to have a baby because I don't have money or I don't have time or I don't have a partner,'" he says. That's a bummer sadly, the pill can and often does fail, even if its taken 100% properly and on time (and it usually isn't), so you have to be REALLY careful with someone you dont want to reproduce with, as many men have found before you. Second thing that you can do after having a baby with someone you don't want to be with, how to deal with it is to be responsible. Personally I think if you both have similar life views (finances, rearing children, religion) then I think you could make this a long lasting beautiful relationship and your child can grow up in a loving home with mom and dad. A Group Owner is a member that has initiated the creation of a group to connect with other members to share their journey through the same pregnancy & baby stages. SCENARIO 4: BE TRUTHFUL TO THE PREGNANT GIRLFRIEND AND LET HER ALSO HAVE SAY AS TO WHAT SHE WANTS. But the decision that you take will not only have an impact in your life, but in others people's life too. Remember, the decision you make will decide whether you will be happy or not in the near future. you are 18 or older, you read and agreed to the. I would say take a step back and analyze why you are not connecting with him and see if things could be different if you two had some changes. 4. You should have your own baby feelings figured out. Archived discussions are usually a bit older and not as active as other community content. Now she's pregnant. And if you guys were just friends with benefits, why continue the pregnancy? It doesn't, does it? I was literally about to break up with her (we were in the process of breaking up), when she announced she was pregnant. She is a good person, and a fantastic catch for somebody unfortunately that person is not me. **** will get tough before it gets better, but it will work out in the end. There are days I hate being pregnant and days I could swear I even hate him. There are midnight feedings, changing diapers, rocking a screaming infant and little sleep. THAT'S IT. This difficult parent-child dynamic is most typical of families where one or both parents are narcissistic, but it's not exclusive to narcissists only. Forgotting that there's gonna be 3 children in his life forever? Does it feel like pulling teeth getting him to say how he feels about you? Privacy Policy. I've never been the same since he brought out innocent baby into the argument. This after-pregnancy condition is common, with roughly 70 to 80 percent of new mamas experiencing some degree of sadness. As a matter of fact, there are many mental, emotional, and social side effects associated with being a young-faced woman. You CAN NOT let someone have the upper hand on you. Having A Baby With Someone You Don't Want To Be With, How To Deal With I do feel sorry for you and the situation you are in. The Stages of Wanting to Have a Baby, by Age - Cosmopolitan Send all yourrelationship&Loveproblems/issues to me for help via [emailprotected]. My boyfriend and I have only been together since November we had protected sex twice, in December, and I got pregnant. You decided to have a child with a man you barely know, you use him and his money (as you wrote, he can afford to pay for your car and other stuff) and you want us to praise you.